This happens every year: Brandon and I agree that we aren't doing anything for Valentine's because our anniversary is just 2 days later. So really, what's the point. ;)
But the thing is, I've been married to Brandon for 22 years now and I was burned early on when I BELIEVED him (that we were doing nothing), and then felt really guilty when he showed up with flowers or chocolates or whatever. Not that HE made me feel bad. Self-imposed. Anyhow, I always now at least get him a card.
This year though, I had a feeling something was up so I stopped at Kohl's on the way home from clinicals on the 13th and picked up some new pajama pants and a fancy candy bar for a gift. I was feeling pretty good. Then I woke up the morning of the 14th to the best candygram ever. Pictured below. So 1990's.
I was a few points behind at this point (he definitely was ahead in the creativity arena). But then I went to school, did school stuff, and pulled into my driveway at 5:45 pm. Sean, fully dressed in waitering attire, peeked his head into the garage and welcomed me home. Then, after letting me change and freshen up, he escorted me in to a re-creation of the meal I made for Brandon on our 1st anniversary: Hamburger covered in mozzerella cheese and tomato soup and fresh green beans. Thomas and Sean waited on us, Rin and Milla had cooked the meal and hand dipped strawberries for dessert. All had helped decorate with yellow roses and candles. Of course Brandon had planned the whole thing and bribed the kids for their help.
Finally Brandon took me upstairs and gave me a relaxing massage on the table we picked up many years ago. Best purchase ever!
I definitely made out in the husband department. You won this round, Brandon. Well played.
So, I don't know if anyone out there is like me, but I am not a fan of all the new 'step up from fast food' restaurants that have come out lately. Those ones that you feel like you have to get an orientation to before even considering attempting to order from their vast array of options. First is plate, burrito, bowl or salad. You can choose from their 'preset' options, but even when you do they keep coming at you with question 'which meat' (6 options), 'which veggies' (20 options), which dressings (8 options). Who knows which of those options will add another $2 a pop to the price. I just nod yes to whatever they say in hopes they will stop asking me any more questions. Just let me pay and get out of this line already!
So you can only imagine my surprise and non stop giggles when Brandon and I walked into Cane's Chicken Fingers and saw the menu below a few weeks ago. This place was new and so we thought we'd give it a try. Now I know that the name should have given the menu away, but I didn't think it possible. What were my choices?
3,4 or 6 chicken fingers (w/ toast and coleslaw on the side)
--OR--
(wait for it...)
3 chicken fingers on a bun. period.
(well unless you were splurging on the 50-100 chicken finger 'tailgating' package)
Not kidding. It was glorious. I got chicken fingers.
So Thomas comes home the other day from school and says, 'Mom, I have a permission slip for you to sign for school'. On the counter I find the paper to sign, on which Thomas had already made a personal note for his teacher:
'can I get a king-sized whatchamacallit, if not i'll take a sprite'
I'm pretty sure the teacher was thinking something in the vane of tootsie roll or dumdum, but I guess it doesn't hurt to ask ;)
Thomas' new friend that he made in track this year. Pretty much perfect for each other.
thomas demonstrating the long-ness of one of our longest long beans to grow in the garden this year.
Someone at dinner tonight was complaining about Rin always leaning on people. That was all it took for an impromptu, full voice duet of 'Lean on Me' by Brandon and I.
This has probably been the heaviest month in my memory. It felt like every few days there was something else...seeing loss and struggle and pain for so many people that I am close to. And sometimes for me. It's shaken me a bit.
Milla has a pretty tight regimen this semester. Mon-Thurs she leaves the house between 6 and 7 in the morning, drives to the train, takes the train to school, returns to her car and drives the 2 minutes to work. Works for 5 hours, gets home at 5, eats, homework, sleeps, repeats. But on Friday she gets to do what she loves all day. She gets to draw. Her class is from 9-3:15. Yesterday she told me that their assignment was to draw the negative space of something. Not to draw an object and the scene around it and then ERASE the object (as apparently many were doing), but to be able to see and draw only what you don't normally see.
I was thinking about this when I read in the scriptures this morning. 2 Nephi 2:25 'Adam fell that men might be; and men are, that they might have joy'. Typically when I hear this oft quoted verse, what I hear is the last sentiment 'Men are, that they might have joy'. And I've tried really hard in the past few years to focus on the joy and choose happy. Because when it comes down to it, I just want to be happy. I want to feel love and joy. But I have so much 'not happy' that I am constantly trying to process and get rid of. Struggles of my own, in my family, in the world and then the added weight I felt during my three years as RS president counseling with the sisters. It all just swirled around and more and more I found I couldn't lock it away and just find happy. This stress has more quickly brimmed to the surface and overflowed as tears as of late and I've found myself questioning more and finding less answers.
When I read 2 Nephi 2 though, I thought of Milla's assignment to acknowledge and appreciate the negative space. Instead of just seeking and hoping for the 'joy' part, I honed in on the words 'Adam fell that men might be'. The falling and the struggle and the pain are essential components to finding that joy. Vs 11 talks of opposition and that 'all things must needs be a compound in one'. Maybe I shouldn't be locking away the pain so much as acknowledging it as necessary in my path to finding joy. It's not a deterrent to my joy. It adds to my empathy and compassion and patience and love for others as well as for myself.
I was never into the 'some day it will all be worth it' mantra. 'Some day' is too far away for me to see love and joy. But I think maybe I don't need to wait.
"Whenever I get gloomy with the state of the world, I think about the arrivals gate at Heathrow Airport. General opinion's starting to make out that we live in a world of hatred and greed, but I don't see that. It seems to me that love is everywhere. Often it's not particularly dignified or newsworthy, but it's always there – fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, husbands and wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends. When the planes hit the Twin Towers, as far as I know none of the phone calls from the people on board were messages of hate or revenge – they were all messages of love. If you look for it, I've got a sneaky feeling you'll find that love actually is all around." -Hugh Grant in Love Actually
No doubt you have all been anxiously awaiting a garden update from the Eyre household...I had NO IDEA almost a year had passed since the last one. I will make it up to you here. Ask next time! ;)
This post will be all garden, so stop here if this holds no interest for you. Fair warning.
I didn't think I'd have anytime to garden this year. 'Just keep it simple', is what I said. Well, apparently gardening is the one thing that soothes my soul, whether things go as planned or not. So I garden on and take joy in every little bud and cry for all that is lost. Or is stagnant. It's all okay.
This spring I finished my installing my hardscaping plan from last year (see post from Sept '16 if you want a refresher!) and then filled it in with a plethora of plants. It's one of those things that you are glad you didn't realize how much work it would be from the start, or you never would have started. It's not crazy fancy, but it's mine. And considering how small my yard is, it feels good and happy and relaxing. I installed a large flat rock on one side so that I would have a place to sit and meditate or read. Which works really well until the neighbors let their little yippers out and they feel the need to make sure everyone is aware of my presence. Smile.
THE LEFT
The left rock garden has some yarrow (red!), silky grass, salvia, manzanita, a fern bush, siberian pea shrub, key broom and evening primrose (oenethera macrocarpa--my new absolute favorite). For some reason my broom is the same 2" high as when I planted it in the spring, but everything else is filling in nicely. The spot gets less sun that I realized, once the birch behind it leafed out, but I think the sun these plants DO get is pretty strong and is sufficient to keep most things here happy.
Primrose. *love*
This yarrow looks even more red in person.
THE MIDDLE
Here you can see where I terrace little steps in along the length and planted various types of thyme on the bottom step. I also through some wildflower seeds (that I got for my birthday) in front of each raised bed, which have grown like crazy. The little purple flowers close each night, but are delightful. The others seeds have grown huge, but I have yet to see a flower...I have no idea what they are supposed to be, but I assume something will bloom before our first freeze! You can see my sitting rock at the end of the path.
My second raised bed with strawberries and asparagus is having a light year (although I have had a handful of strawberries and a batch of garlic harvested), but the first bed above is growing like mad. I tried a new soil mix and, what do you know, I CAN grow tomatoes. Who knew. Usually by now the snow peas are toast and I have to plant a second batch for the fall, but with the cooler weather and rain we've had the past few weeks, they just keep producing (left of the bed- they have outgrown their supports and have just fallen over to cover the whole width of the bed. Then in the middle are Sean's pole beans from mom and dad's bloomin' christmas. I just love looking out at the gorgeous orange flowers that the beans are now slowly replacing. I keep having to put a longer and longer stick in for them to climb. On the right back are my 2 tomato plants. They are LADEN with fruit. I have only harvested 3 so far, but I know as soon as the sun stays out for a few days I will be in over my head.
My purple variety! Pole beans
THE RIGHT
Grapes are huge this year. Also makes a nice shady spot, which Thomas, Henry and I took advantage of one day for a game and a picnic.
Our new neighbors, Riley and Carly
Prairie clover. This plant is just beginning to fill out but I love it's unique blooms
The bees are back! Just planted flowers and all of a sudden we have bees instead of wasps.
Last spring I remembered that I really wanted to get out camping this year. I say that I make my family go camping once a year, so they remember what nature looks like, but in reality we have probably only averaged once every 2-3 years over our marriage. We have outgrown our family tent, though, and have gotten a bit achier as well as a big bigger over the past few years, so I knew that I needed to look for a cabin.
There are a lot of state parks in Colorado. Each with a fair number of cabins. Searching online I looked for any cabin in any state park w/in 4 hours of Denver that was available on any weekend this summer. It also needed a fishable lake nearby as Thomas had been begging to go fishing. That spring search led to one result: A single room cabin at State Forest State Park on the weekend of August 4th. Period.
So I booked it. Is "State Forest State Park" even a real name? Who voted for that? Well, it is. And it is a real place. And it is unbelievably beautiful. Probably the only reason it was the only available cabin is because it was in a place called 'State Forest State Park'.
Doing a little research, I found that this is the 'Moose Capital of Colorado' (maybe Moose State Park would have been a better name...or 'Big Antler'. 'Sizable Schnoz State Park' even has a nice ring to it.
Unfortunately we didn't come upon any moose, but the roads were lined with deer welcoming us. No shortage of wildlife.
This was a 3 hour drive on Friday: straight up to Ft. Collins and then due west. The drive was lovely, once we got out of traffic and once the singing started. I have always encouraged singing, but it doesn't usually catch on. Maybe it was boredom, maybe it was because the kids were trying to conserve energy on their phones bc they know they would be without power for 2 days. Whatever the cause, the musical show tunes began and went on for probably 1 1/2 hours. At one point everyone was stunned to silence when Sean sang a sad, dramatic number from Hunchback of Notre Dame in it's entirety. Drama, on key, amazing. I just never know with that kid. Probably my favorite part of the whole trip.
Once there we quickly settled in to our cabin: one room with 2 bunks and a futon. The next day we were lounging around after hiking and Thomas came out with, 'You know mom, I really like this'. Me, 'You mean this cabin?'. Thomas, 'No, just having all of our beds together in one place. It's nice'. It was. Saturday evening we played a story dice game. The story that evolved ended up being 'Dora the Explorer themed'. A little throwback to their childhoods and was hilarious. Each kid has their own style of storytelling.
The hikes let to a beautiful alpine lake and beaver dam after beaver dam on a little meandering stream. I was amazed how many wildflowers will still out in August, lining the paths.
We had a little rain, a little complaining on the hikes, and some bruised feet, but we also got to know each other a little better, felt success of 2 out of 3 fire building tries (although the cabin next to us always had a massive thing raging...it felt like they were mocking our attempts ;), but we had what we needed.
Maybe next year the kids will act a little more excited when I tell them that camping is on the agenda!
We tried a fire Friday night, but only had 15 min of sunlight left after we arrived and fire 1 was unsuccessful. Next day, we had two successes. Thankfully! As pancakes and stew were on the menu and we had forgotten our campstove.
Mmm, s'mores. We've been apart far too long.
Hiking to our first geocache. We knew we were close when we rounded a bend and saw a group of 10 (mostly kids) grouped around a tree stump. Then we heard on adult explain to another adult, 'Yeah, we weren't even looking for it, but I glanced over and saw this metal handle sticking out of the tree...' We had been hiking for 45 minutes and keeping a close eye on our GPS. Ah well. The kids didn't seem too disappointed. We found 3 geocaches that day. The most challenging was hidden in a little cave up the side of a steep hill.
Only moose we saw was this one made out of barbed wire at the visitors center. It was pretty remarkable in it's detail, though. And safer to go up and pet than the real thing.
Thomas' first (only) catch of the day! A bit of seaweed. Something is better than nothing, I always say. Thomas got his fishing hook out of one of the geocaches we found earlier.
Our cabin was the smallest of the 3 pictured. Furthest left above the kids heads.
