As Brandon and I were driving home from the temple yesterday, we flipped on the radio and there was a discussion going on with the announcer and people calling in about a mother that had let her children know she was leaving them for a different life via text message (or something...didn't really catch the back story). The discussion, though, was about how many mothers (often secretly) regret having children at some point in there lives. One caller was expressing her views when the announcer responded something to the effect of, 'No doubt most moms still love their kids, but they often regret that they had to give up....THEIR life. (their own goals, bar hopping with their friends- yes he actually said this, etc)'. Although I get what he was, inarticulately, trying to say, (there are many sacrifices parents make), I'm saddened by this perspective on parenthood. What is MY life, but a collection of experiences, both sought out and given? One's life doesn't begin or end with a career, with children, with mastery of a certain skill, with reaching a certain income, or with having sufficient time to play. It is enriched by the good and the hard. Although I am having to decide what priorities to focus on while I raise my children and try to strengthen my marriage, I am growing and becoming with them. Not despite them.
So what experiences am I going to seek out this year? What challenges will come? I guess I can only plan out the former question and do a lot of praying and listening about the latter. Our family has begun discussion of 'Christmas 2015' which is something I have been wanting to do for several years, but which we have actually decided to DO this year. I am just calling 'Christmas 2015' what is actually intended to be a yearlong experience. In lieu of present buying this year for Christmas, we are going to focus on community service and then use present money and any money the kids have earned and chosen to give for donating to where we see a need. Every month we will sit down and discuss what needs we see and decide what ways we want to serve that month.
The other major change I have decided to pursue is going back to school to get my BSN (nursing). I am planning to apply to the UC-Denver nursing program in the fall of 2016 (2 yr program), but have to redo some science pre-req's first (I can hardly believe I've been out of school for 16 years!). So to ease myself back into college life, I am taking just 4 credits (via BYU-i online) of Anatomy and Physiology starting on Jan 5th. That was my favorite class at BYU, but I am feeling really terrified at the moment. So we'll see how that goes! I've learned thus far in life, that most things don't work out the way that I originally imagine them, but that all my experiences have led to growth and blessings. So here's to growth and blessings! and sweat and tears and satisfaction (and probably a lot more tears, in my case ;)
Happy new year!
